so my first six weeks stint in 4th year clinic have passed… this means we swap tutors for the next halfterm and the tutors now give us feedback.
i was told that my patient interaction is fine, that my patients seem to get better and so on. but i’m vague when it comes to my diagnosis. this was only my first review, so i might have more things to add to this over the rest of the week.
i’m not sure why i am so vague on my diagnosis. i’m certainly not vague all of the time. i think it depends on individual patients and their circumstances. and it depends on the tutor i’m with.
i feel that i’m vague partly because i don’t have a lot of confidence in my diagnosing. i spend almost forever trying to figure out whether someti´hing counts as an actual diagnosis on the paper it needs to go on. and because this seems such a gamble in the first place, i’d rather leave it out completely. like i said, i don’t think this happens all the time. but it happens enough for me to think i’m uncomfortable with being pinned down. or maybe it’S something else i haven’t yet worked out.
part of me, i think, just isn’t particularly interested in the diagnosis as a thing. the diagnosis is part of what drives the treatment plan, i understand that, but i also want to have my hands respond to the patient in a way. this is not sanctioned. i spoke to a tutor two weeks or so ago and he said part of being examined is the performance. he said he was once told he looked supercilious. i wasn’t sure what this meant. he explained it means he looked like he didn’t care for the examiner’s opinion. i said, damn right you didn’t!
but when you’re examined you have to appear to care. this seems an impossible task.